This is an urgent message to Beacon readers.
Recently, I was appalled as I watched from the bank while a man in a boat wearing a hat with hooks in it pulled one of our beautiful Buckeye Lake sunfish out of the lake. When he broke the surface of the water, I named him Bob. The boat was more than a stone’s throw from the bank because all the stones I threw at him fell short.
I was horrified to watch as the man brutally attacked Bob, sending his reflective scales into the lake, to shimmer briefly on the surface, then sink slowly to the bottom.
I yelled at the man to cease and desist in his vicious attack on Bob, but he started his boat motor and sped away in shame.
Imagine Bob’s family and friends’ reaction when the realize Bob won’t be coming home from his school.
We, the people of Buckeye Lake, must avenge Bob. The man must confess and surrender to the proper authorities.
I suggest his punishment be banishment to Yuma, Arizona, where the intense heat and the complete absence of sunfish will make him think daily about his crime. He should also be prohibited from having a library card.
I’m sure everyone agrees with me about this outrage, and that is why I am contacting our representatives urging them to enact a law to protect our Buckeye Lake sunfish. I call it “Bob’s Law.”
Perhaps I should occupy myself with something more important. I am also an advocate of world peace.
But whatever I do, I promise to keep the compassionate people of Buckeye Lake informed about my opinions.
Former resident of and frequent visitor
to Buckeye Lake